


Pretty Please (Don't Give Up on Me)

by Rebelguitargirl2015



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Domestic! Clarke, F/F, Falling In Love, Family Feels, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Funerals, G!p Lexa, Loads of smut, Minor Character Death, Reuniting, Sad! Clarke, Smut, artist! clarke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:34:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22281931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rebelguitargirl2015/pseuds/Rebelguitargirl2015
Summary: Clarke thinks taking in a teenager after the most traumatic experience of her life is the most ridiculous thing she’s ever heard. She was waiting for the punchline, the drop of the pen that her mother was kidding with her, but when Clarke turned around, there she was met with angry green eyes. After Clarke had lost everything, she didn’t think she had it in her to believe this teenager could fix her.Lexa thought that love was supposed to set her free. That she would feel on top of the world every day after she got married to Costia. Lexa had everything she could ever want, but she had never felt more lost. She didn’t think that anything could fix her marriage at this point, not even their five year old son.ORThe one where Clarke and Lexa find comfort in each other, when it feels like their worlds are completely falling apart.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 34
Kudos: 318





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello y'all. I decided to upload a new story and would love it if you tell me your thoughts down below!
> 
> Don't worry, I will be uploading my other stories very, very shortly. 
> 
> Clexa doesn’t quite meet in this chapter, but this is setting the stage of a little bit of what will be going on in the story. 
> 
> Thanks for all the love and support! And thank you to my beta, StormChaster1117, for looking this over!!
> 
> Tumblr: rebelguitargirl
> 
> Enjoy!

* * *

_“How is she?”_

_“I don’t know.”_

_“Did she look well today?”_

_“I don’t know.” The woman could only supply useless information to her, and it was starting to bug her._

_“Do you know anything?” The short tone she had, made the woman scoff._

_“I know that you can help me with this. You would know things if you guys were in contact.”_

_“She doesn’t want to see me.”_

_“That’s not my fault!” The woman snapped. “Here are her MRI scans. I could get in a lot of trouble for this, so it stays between us.”_

_“Of course.” The dark-haired girl muttered as she eagerly opened the envelope. Her face dropping within seconds of seeing it._

_“It’s not good, Octavia.” The woman revealed softly. “She’s only getting worse.”_

* * *

It was a rainy day when it happened. 

Much like today, it was pouring down rain. So much, that Clarke could barely see out the windshield. She remembered hearing the laughter of her friends in the backseat like they didn’t have a care in the world. 

And they didn’t. 

She remembered Raven asking for the AUX cord because she clearly had better taste in music than the rest of her friends. She remembered Bellamy’s bolstering laugh as Murphy would tell funny jokes. She remembered Wells’ beautiful smile…. before it all went dark.

“Ms. Griffin, there’s a call for you on line one.” Her assistant, Echo popped her head through the door of her studio. Clarke looked up and let out a little gasp, forgetting that there was a world outside the four walls of her art studio. 

“Thank you, Echo.” Clarke said, her voice as lifeless as the corpse on her canvas. Her assistant was staring straight at it, and even though she had concern written all over her face, she knew better than to comment on it. 

Echo left the studio without a word and let her boss get back to her work. 

* * *

It was quiet when she got home from work. So much so, that her ears were ringing. She picked up Chinese food on her way home and wandered around her apartment that was way too big for her. It was two floors, and Clarke knew the reason why it was so huge. It wasn’t supposed to be just her living here. _They_ were supposed to be here as well. 

They wanted an apartment big enough where they could all be together, without actually living on top of each other, and with the three of them, they could afford the huge apartment Clarke was currently standing in. 

Since that didn’t work out, her mother had been paying the other half of her rent and Clarke always refused to talk about it. She didn’t want to be reminded of what happened. Of how these were supposed to be the best days of her life. She was done with college, graduated with a bachelor's degree in Fine Arts. She was supposed to be living up these days with her best friends, but they were nowhere in sight and Clarke feared that this was how it would be from now on. 

She supposed it wasn’t too bad. She could walk around naked and blast her music whenever she showered. She didn’t have to worry about putting any article of clothing on the door when she had certain guests over, because this place was entirely hers. Clarke hated it, and loved it all the same. 

Clarke dished out her food onto two separate plates before realizing that no one else was here with her. With an irritated huff she refused to acknowledge, she dumped the second plate of food onto the first one and walked heavily over to the couch before sitting down.

She thought about it briefly (she always did around this time of night). Maybe it was because it happened at this time or maybe it was just her loneliness kicking in. Clarke had no idea, but her hand would always hover over her phone. She would get as far as unlocking her phone and going to her contacts before she stopped herself. She didn’t really need to go to the contacts, she knew their numbers by heart, but it took up more time that way. More time for her to figure out what to say. More time to process that her friends (her best friends since the first grade) were not in her life anymore.

She didn’t know if they talked to each other. Clarke cut them out of her life, so she didn’t know anything that they were doing. Clarke didn’t know if Raven ever got that mechanic job she talked about her last semester or if Octavia finally got that teaching job she’d wanted so much. Clarke didn’t know a damn thing about her friends (former friends) and it killed her. 

Clarke did the one thing she did every night and locked her phone again. She wouldn’t look at it for the rest of the night and sighed deeply. This wasn’t how she wanted to live her life, but she had no idea how to make it better.

* * *

When the morning came, Clarke found herself making breakfast before heading into the city. Her mother would text her a couple times, and Clarke would try not to smile. She would also get a few text from her past hookups to which she would grimace down at her phone before locking it. 

When she arrived at her art gallery right in the heart of Annapolis, Lincoln greeted her with a cup of coffee. 

“Two sugars and two milks. Just like you like it.” Lincoln offered her a shy smile and Clarke took it graciously. 

“I’m going to need it with how much work we have to do before our next showing.” Clarke’s voice dragged on, but she was happy to do it. Anything to distract her from her annoying thoughts.

“I was thinking of going with that guitar piece. It was pretty cool. I’m almost done with it.” Lincoln was very kind and not too bad on the eyes. He didn’t speak much, but when he did, it mattered.

“That would be great, Linc. I don’t know what piece I’m going to go with.” Clarke said with a dreading smile. “But we have time.” 

“How about you show me what you’ve been working on?” Lincoln asked eagerly, rocking on his heels. Clarke forced out a laugh before shaking her head.

“You ask me this everyday and the answer is–“

“No,” Lincoln finished for her dramatically. “I guess you won’t see my guitar piece I’ve worked so hard on.”

“I’m going to see it either way during our next showing.”

“Likewise.” Lincoln said, a little smirk on his face as he was referring to the piece Clarke kept hidden in her studio.

“I’ll see you for lunch, Lincoln.” Clarke said in a firm voice before heading to her studio. 

Lincoln stood there for an awkward moment before turning around.

“She’s just not the same, is she?” Lincoln asked quietly and Echo shook her head. 

“She isn’t, but don’t mention that to her. She gets… _defensive_.”

“I know it was bad from how she described it, but was it really _that_ bad?” 

“She didn’t go to the funeral.” Echo informed him, her voice hollow. “Every time I bring it up, she shuts down. I wasn’t necessarily close to him, but I still went. After that, she hasn’t been the same.” 

“I just wish there was something I could do.”

“There is.” Echo said lightly.

“What?”

“You can stop thinking with a certain male part of yours and leave her alone.”

“Wha–“ Lincoln turned sideways, looking at Clarke’s assistant. “That’s not what I was– I mean, she’s my boss. I don’t–“

“Yeah, sure. Listen, I’d love to sit here and talk about your obvious crush on our boss, but these calls won’t answer themselves.”

Lincoln walked away, flustered that Echo had put him on the spot like that. He walked over to his office space and got back to work. 

* * *

“Why do we have to do this?” The little boy looked up to his mother with a frown on his face.

“We talked about this, booger,” Lexa said patiently, still gathering up her son’s bag. “Mama lives in a different house now. So you will spend the weekend with her.”

“But I want to spend the weekend with both of you.” The little boy announced, on the verge of tears and Lexa sighed heavily.

“It’ll be okay. You’ll spend the weekend and most of Monday with mama and then you’ll come back to mommy, okay?” Lexa stopped packing his bag for a couple seconds to bend down and assure her son was fine.

“I’m just going to miss you. We can watch movies like old times.” 

“That’s very sweet of you, Nate. But, I’m going to stay here this weekend.”

“Fine.” Nathan huffed, holding his arms across his tiny chest.

“Nat–“

Lexa was interrupted when the doorbell rang and despite Nathan being upset that his mom couldn’t come with him, he was happy to see his other one.

“Mama!” Nathan called as he ran to the door, but waited for Lexa to open it.

Lexa had no idea why she was nervous. She ran her fingers through her hair a bit, and smoothed down her shirt before finally opening the door.

“Nathanator!” Costia called out as she held open her arms. Lexa rolled her eyes a bit at the nickname her ex still used for him.

“Mama!” Nathan cried happily as he leaped into her arms. Costia struggled for a bit, even letting out a small groan before looking up at Lexa.

Lexa had no idea why, but she held her breath as Costia looked her over.

“Hey, Lexa.” Costia called softly and Lexa tried not to get pulled in by it.

“Hey, here’s his stuff.” Lexa handed over the overnight bag. “I’ll be working all weekend, but call if you need anything.”

“I’ve been taking care of him for the past five years. I don’t think I need to call.”

“Costia, if anything goes wrong, I’m the first one you call, alright?” 

“Sure.” Costia said curtly as she put their son down. “Alright, give your mommy a hug.” 

Nathan wrapped his arms around Lexa legs and Lexa patted his back, ruffling his hair with her hand.

“See you, booger.”

“Bye, mommy!” Nathan called as he grabbed a hold of Costia’s hand and they walked down the corridor. 

Lexa tried not to let the guilt of what was happening seep through her bones. Costia had wanted to make this work. Costia had wanted Lexa to stay back at the house with them and work it out, but after months of counseling, nothing had gotten better.

Lexa was sick of lying to herself. She wasn’t happy, and she had no idea why. Everything that her and Costia did together, would just end in an argument. 

Lexa thought love was supposed to set you free, make you feel on top of the world. Lexa could admit at first, when they had met during her senior year of high school that she fell madly in love with Costia, but over the years it faded into something, Lexa could hardly recognize. She didn’t recognize the woman she had married six years ago and Lexa didn’t know what to do about it.

They vowed that they would never be that married couple that always argued, but no matter what Lexa did, things between them had only gotten worse. 

Instead of dwelling on everything that was wrong in her life, she got ready for a run. She pulled her black Nike shoes on before pinning her hair up in a messy bun. She knew it was a bit chilly out, winter was almost around the corner, but she still wore a white tank top, after years of being a kickboxing instructor, it made her biceps poke out. 

Just like most things in her life right now, (She wouldn’t admit it because she was so damn stubborn), Lexa started running down the hall and down the three flights of stairs. Lexa was running away from all of her problems right now.

* * *

It had been a week later.

A week of the same routine. Of going to work and then coming home and getting dinner, always making two extra plates before Clarke realized that they weren’t with her and they would never be again. 

It had been a week of the same empty void in Clarke’s heart. It had also been a week of missed calls from her mom and her therapist desperately trying to reach out to her and Clarke had no doubt it was because of her mother. 

Clarke had survived a week of being completely and utterly alone. She supposed she could only blame herself. She was the one that had pushed everyone away. 

It was Wednesday and Clarke was almost done with her work day. She just had a couple calls she had to answer, one of them being her mother’s. She had called her a couple times today, but Clarke had been so busy that she couldn’t return them right away. 

Clarke was actually dreading her last business call. She knew her mother’s was the next and last call for today. She didn’t think she could sit through her mother telling her how sad and depressed she was.

Abby had tried getting Clarke a puppy a couple weeks ago. She didn’t like the idea of Clarke being all alone in that huge apartment by herself. Abby wasn’t always available to just drop everything and come see her daughter. Not that Clarke would actually talk to her. Clarke knew her mother was worried about her, but she kept insisting that she was fine and Abby wouldn’t believe a single word of it.

“Clarke, I need you to meet me downtown at this address in an hour.” Abby’s voice rang through Clarke’s office. Clarke had no idea what was going on and was hesitant to ask. 

“Why?”

“Clarke, please just do it.” Abby insisted. There was no ‘hellos’ or ‘how are you’s’ or ‘when was the last time you went out with someone’. Clarke had to give it to her mother, she got straight to the point this time, which made Clarke think of the worst. Something was going on and Abby was being so vague about it. 

“Mom, I don’t know,” Clarke took a shaky breath. “Last time you called me like this you were trying to hand me a puppy.”

“You gotta trust me on this, honey,” Abby said wisely. “Please.” 

Her mother was so determined that meeting her in an hour would make all of her problems go away. Clarke had no idea what was waiting for her downtown and was terrified to find out. 

* * *

Her mother had sent her the address to a high school called: _Arkadia High._ Clarke had never heard of it. She went to high school with her friends up north, but this school wasn’t too far from her apartment. 

Clarke got out of her car hesitantly. Everything about this situation seemed shady, and her mother wasn’t one to be shady, so she had no idea what could possibly be waiting for her at this high school. Even seeing all these teenagers made Clarke cringe. She definitely didn’t want to be here. She wanted to go home and eat ice cream to stave off all of her problems. 

Clarke saw her mom standing at the entrance of the school. It was the afternoon so buses were filling up with teenagers and the other half were going out to the parking lot to find their respected cars. Some of them were hanging outside of school on the benches and Clarke knew some had to be hanging by the bleachers by the track, because that was where she hung out with all of her friends. 

Being at this high school was bringing back a lot of memories, that almost ripped Clarke’s heart out.

“This better be good.” Clarke walked up to her mother. Despite her cold tone, Abby smiled widely at seeing her daughter and even Clarke couldn’t deny her. Abby had her arms open and Clarke stepped into them, feeling a sense of comfort from her mother rubbing her back up and down.

“It’s good to see you, sweetie. Work has me really busy right now. That’s actually what I want to talk to you about.” 

“Why would you need to talk to me about foster care?” Her mother was a caseworker for Foster and Adoptive teenagers. Clarke genuinely had no idea what that had to do with her. “Do you need my help locating a runaway?” 

“No, nothing like that sweetie.” Abby chuckled and Clarke noticed how nervous she was getting. Whatever Abby wanted from her, Clarke knew it couldn’t have been good. 

“There’s this teenager,” Abby and Clarke stepped out of the way of eager teenagers trying to get home and Clarke had no doubt to eat junk food and play video games. “She isn’t assigned to me, but a close friend. Her name is October Fields and her foster home she is living in now, isn’t the greatest. We’ve been working on trying to get her somewhere better, but it’s not as easy as it sounds and then I thought of you.”

“I wish you didn’t.” Clarke blurted out rudely, having a feeling she knew where this was going. Never in her mother’s career had she come to Clarke with something like this. 

“Clarke, you’re almost twenty-six–“

“And nowhere near ready to take in a teenager, if that’s what you are implying.” Clarke scrunched her face up in true Jake Griffin fashion and Abby smiled sadly at how alike they were. 

“She’s 16. A sophomore in high school. Her–“ 

“There are a million different homes she could go live at, why does she have to live with me?” The high pitched tone of her daughter, made Abby realize that Clarke really had no idea what was going on.

“Because honey,” Abby stated calmly, reaching out and rubbing her daughter’s arm. “When I look at her, it reminds me of you.” 

“You can stop being so dramatic.” Clarke huffed and folded her arms. Abby sighed heavily and took a step forward.

“I’m tired of walking on eggshells with you. It’s been months of you being like this. You haven’t talked to anyone, but the people you work with and Clarke, I just don’t know what to do.” 

“I am fine.” Clarke enunciated her words. 

“You are not fine, Clarke!” Abby protested, her voice raising slightly, catching the ears of a few students nearby. “If you were so fine, you wouldn’t act the way you do now. You would go see your friends. You would–“

“I was the one driving that night. They don’t want to see me.” Clarke reminded her emotionlessly, her eyes as empty as her words. 

“Clarke–“

“You tried to get me a puppy just two weeks ago and now you’re really stepping up your game with trying to get me a _teenager_! A teenager, Mom? Really?” 

Abby had straightened up her posture. Clarke thought it was because of the tone she was using. Clarke rarely talked to her mom like this, but Abby was acting delusional. Clarke had no idea that someone else was with them.

“What do you want me to do with her? Sit around and make sure she doesn’t burn the house down while she makes a grilled cheese sandwich. Or, worry late at night when she fails to text me because she was out having fun with her friends. Mom, please save it and have November go live somewhere else.”

“Clarke, stop talking.” Abby’s posture only got straighter as she looked into the eyes of the teenager that Clarke’s back was turned to. She had never wanted her daughter to be quiet so badly.

“I just don’t think I can handle her right now, Mom. I would ruin her, even more than she would ruin me. She would be a complete nightmare and you want her to live with me? Please, try again. Find somewhere else because I’m not taking her!” 

“Clarke Elizabeth Griffin, you will be quiet this instant.” Abby stomped her foot loudly and Clarke immediately stopped, sensing that someone was by her.

She was waiting for the punchline, the drop of the pen that her mother was kidding with her, but when Clarke turned around, there she was met with angry green eyes.

Clarke turned back around to her mother slowly, knowing that Abby wasn’t joking because there was living proof that she was being completely serious right now.

“I just need you to think about it. You won’t even have to talk to her. Just offer her somewhere to sleep and feed her until she’s out of high school. She has so much potential, Clarke and I would hate to see her waste it because she doesn’t think she’s good enough.” Abby spoke quickly, but the teenager stayed where she was by the entrance. It wasn’t long before she disappeared back inside and Abby sighed heavily. 

“I don’t know if I can be who she needs right now. I don’t think I can do this,” Clarke turned around, the teenager was nowhere in sight. “Tell her that I’m sorry.” 

Abby was so focused on the fact that she lost October that she failed to realize her daughter disappeared into the crowd of teenagers. Clarke blended in well because Abby couldn’t find her at all. She didn’t know if she should go comfort the teenager that was clearly hurt by what Clarke said or her daughter that was in so much pain right now.

Abby thought that October might need her a little more than Clarke right now. 

* * *

Clarke wished that she had her friends to talk to. She wished they could help her through this decision, but she knew that was wishful thinking. Her friends weren’t here, and they probably never wanted to hear from her again. 

So, Clarke called the only number she could.

And a couple hours later, Clarke was already five drinks in as she rambled to Lincoln about what was going on. Lincoln was sipping his beer a little more elegantly than Clarke as she was throwing back shot after shot.

“See, this is not stable!” Clarke pointed to the tiny shot glass in her hand. “My mom wants me to take in another human being, but I’m over here getting drunk with you!” 

“Maybe you should slow down?” Lincoln said, his deep voice sending a chill through her. 

“I’m fine.” Clarke had said those words so many times, that it was becoming natural to just blurt them out. She did it without impulse, but Clarke was planning on getting so drunk so she could get those disappointed angry green eyes out of her head. 

“She looked so sad.” Clarke mumbled in the loudness of the bar and Lincoln leaned closer.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Clarke shook her head. She ordered another round and drank until Lincoln had to carry her out of the bar.

* * *

Clarke woke up at two in the morning to her head spinning and her stomach flipping. It wasn’t long before she was rushing to her bathroom and dropping to her knees. She dry–heaved first before she threw up the contents in her stomach. 

She nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt a hand on her back supportively.

“Raven?” Clarke called through her vomiting. There was a pause before Clarke was actually disappointed to hear the deep voice.

“Not quite.” Lincoln whispered. He was holding a glass of water and handed over to Clarke.

“You have to stop this.” Lincoln said quietly after Clarke took a few gulps of water. This wasn’t the first time Lincoln had to carry Clarke out of a bar. 

“Excuse me?” 

“I don’t know what happened and I’m not sure you’ll ever tell me. I know it couldn’t have been good if you’re acting like this. You used to be so happy and I don’t know what happened, but you have to stop this. Maybe you’re mom is right.”

“My mom is far from right. This is the craziest thing she has ever pulled and I’m not doing it.”

Lincoln stood up then. Looking like a skyscraper towering over Clarke. Clarke watched him closely as he let out an annoyed breath.

“Clarke, you need help,” Lincoln said. Clarke opened her mouth to protest, but Lincoln just held up a finger. “Maybe this teenager could help you. Therapy isn’t working for you and I don’t know, how bad could it be?” 

“I would be responsible for her for a very long time and I’m not ready for that type of commitment.”

“Maybe this is what you need to realize just how hurt you really are. You need someone here with you, Clarke because you being alone is only making this worse.” 

“I don’t need this from you right now.” Clarke said stubbornly and stood up, stumbling slightly and Lincoln was right by her side, catching her.

“I think you do. No one knows how to help you. You need a change. You need something or _someone_. A puppy isn’t going to work and maybe you should try this out. Take her in, Clarke.” 

They walked back over to the bed and Lincoln gently tucked her in. Clarke was looking at Lincoln like she didn’t know what to say or do or act. Because Clarke didn’t. She didn’t know what was happening and how all of this started, but taking in a teenager she knew nothing about was ridiculous, right? 

Clarke didn’t dwell on it much longer because as soon as her body hit the bed, she was out in a matter of seconds. 

* * *

Another week went by of Clarke being completely lost in life. It was Wednesday and it made Clarke cringe slightly watching all these adolescent teenager’s flock around her. She wrapped her arms around herself, thinking at any moment one of them could touch her.

Clarke’s mind was racing. She wasn’t sure if she was doing the right thing. If she did this, really did this, she wasn’t sure how it was going to turn out. She realized the day that she got drunk with Lincoln that something within her physically snapped. She couldn’t keep living like this. She couldn’t keep acting like this and _maybe_ this wouldn’t be such a bad idea. 

Her mother promised her it would only be for a couple weeks, until she could find somewhere permanent to put…. (Clarke already forgot her name, and saw this as another sign to cut and run).

Clarke didn’t remember this girl’s name, but she didn’t forget what she looked like. She remembered those sad green eyes, when Clarke had went on about how this wasn’t a good idea. She remembered the messed up brunette hair and split ends. The girl was coming her way, and Clarke straightened up. 

The girl had her earphones in, just like every other teenager here. She had a scowl on her face, and Clarke watched in amazement how this girl would walk a straight path, and kids in her way would move when they saw her coming.

Clarke thought she was going to completely bypass her with how fast she was walking, but to Clarke’s surprise, the girl stopped right in front of her.

Clarke was a little taken back by the sheer intensity of the brunette’s stare, and cleared her throat a bit.

“Hi, I’m Clarke. Do you remember me?” 

The girl had her earphones in, so Clarke didn’t think she could hear her. The girl just kept staring at her, and Clarke felt awkward under such questioning eyes.

“What are you doing here?” The girl sneered and Clarke swallowed roughly. “Of course I remember you. You said I would be a complete nightmare to live with.”

“I didn’t mean–“

“What are you doing here?” The girl questioned again and this time, Clarke straightened up her posture and looked the girl in her eyes. She noticed how the girl couldn’t hold the eye-contact and looked down at the pavement.

“I was thinking… maybe… you could come home with me tonight?” 

“Yeah, because that doesn’t sound totally creepy.” The girl took her earphones out of her ears. Her way of letting Clarke know she was listening.

“My mom told me your foster home isn’t the best and while she works on finding you a new one, maybe… possibly… you could stay with me?” 

“No one wants the old mut. They always want the cute little babies. I’m going to be waiting for a while. I always do and then I end up back in that stupid house, with those stupid parents who can’t even take care of a dog!” 

The teenage girl was getting worked up, and Clarke scolded her past self for being so selfish. Her mother was right. This girl deserved a lot more than what she was getting and Clarke had more than enough space for her.

“Well…” Clarke opened the door of her BMW. “You could stay with me?” 

“I don’t know…” The teenage girl bit her lip. “Your mom has told me about you, but I don’t know.” 

“I’m not playing any games. I’m not trying to trick you. You need some place where you can have a decent meal and a bed to call your own. I have that. You just have to trust me.” 

“I don’t trust anyone.” The girl said quickly, and Clarke tried to hide her frown.

“Me too…” Clarke said quietly. “So, maybe we can trust each other.”

“I don’t know…”

“Why don’t you come see for yourself and then be the judge of it?” 

The girl was already walking to her car, slowly, but surely. She ducked her head and sat down as Clarke closed the door.

She let out a huge breath and hoped she was making the right choice. 

(They both were). 

* * *

The walk up to her apartment was the longest one she thought she’d ever taken. Clarke thought the walk back from the accident would’ve been the hardest, but Clarke was trying to control her breathing as she listened to the extra pair of feet behind her. 

October was quiet, she didn’t utter a word the whole car ride home. She was clutching her bag close to her and walked carefully behind Clarke.

No words were spoken when Clarke got her keys out and unlocked the door. Clarke strolled inside like she did every day, with a very timid teenager right beside her.

“This is it.” Clarke spread her arms wide as she turned the lights on. Clarke watched as October’s facial expression was blank, but her eyes were shining with something Clarke had thought was hope.

“It’s two floors. I sleep down here and you can have the bedroom upstairs since it has its own bathroom.” Clarke was rambling, but she couldn’t stop herself. It wasn’t everyday that she took a teenager home. 

“Any room is fine with me.” October said humbly, and Clarke had to hide a smile.

“I’ll show you it.” Clarke said awkwardly and walked up the stairs with October on her heels. 

She showed October the room that hadn’t been painted yet because Raven and Octavia couldn’t decide who should get the bedroom with its own bathroom. There was a bed and a dresser and a nightstand, but that was it. There was no decorations. In fact, Clarke hardly ever came in this room because she couldn’t stand to be in it without them.

“It’s nice.” October muttered as she looked it over.

There was a TV on the floor that hadn’t been hooked up yet. Clarke promised October that she would have the electrician came hook it up for them, and October nodded slowly. There were a million questions written on her face, and Clarke didn’t think she could answer them.

“This apartment is really big for just one person.” The comment was so simple, Clarke knew October didn’t mean any harm, but it hit Clarke like a ton of bricks.

Clarke had to make sure she didn’t look affected by the comment, although her insides felt like they were clawing at her. She had done so much damage and left like a coward. Clarke didn’t know how she even slept at night.

“It is.” Clarke hummed vaguely. She walked over to the closet before looking back at October.

“You can put whatever belongings you have here. There’s a cabinet under the sink with clean towels so you can shower.”

October still had that unreadable look on her face, and Clarke knew it had nothing to do with what she was doing. It had everything to do with the huge room they were standing in. The _huge_ apartment that they were standing in. Anyone could conclude that it wasn’t just supposed to be Clarke living here.

October figured that out very quickly, but she decided for the sake of the woman before her, that she wouldn’t say anything. Clarke did however, take her in. 

“Why don’t you get started on some homework,” Clarke said slowly, as if she was testing the waters. That was something you say to teenagers right? Because they’re always on their phones texting away. It was something her mother had said to her and Clarke nodded to herself. “I’m going to go make some dinner.” 

Clarke didn’t give October a chance to respond. Out of fear of asking why she was living alone, Clarke bolted out of the room and went to go start dinner.

Clarke couldn’t help the smile on her face when she realized she wasn’t cooking for just herself tonight.

* * *

Dinner was… awkward. Clarke was actually glad that October was stuffing her face because she had no idea what to say. She made a mental note to ridicule her mother later for doing this to her. There was nothing she could possibly have in common with this teenager, and Clarke sighed.

“This is really good.” October muttered around the buttered mashed potatoes she’d made. Clarke let out a warm smile, realizing that she barely touched her dinner. Her stomach was rolling enough as it was, she didn’t think she could stomach dinner right now. 

So, Clarke just sat there. Staring at the mysterious sixteen year old in front of her. The brunette had her ears pierced and her messy hair was pulled back into a bun. This allowed Clarke to see the worn out look on such a young girl’s face. October looked like she hadn’t slept in _months_ , and Clarke felt bad. 

She knew how hard it was to have a regular sleep schedule when going to school everyday. She couldn’t imagine topping that with having no family to actually go to. Clarke had no idea where home was for October. Clarke had no idea about anything when it came to the girl in front of her.

“... Clarke?”

Clarke jumped when she felt a cold hand touch her arm. She looked up in surprise when October didn’t move her hand. Clarke looked down at her hand and then back up to questioning, almost scared green eyes. October was quick to remove her hand and clear her throat.

“I just wanted to know if I could get more?” October asked in a quiet voice. Clarke tried not to frown at how scared she looked right now, and nodded her head before she could get the words out.

“Of course. Of course you can,” Clarke was still nodding and it was kind of making her dizzy. “I made extra just in case.”

October was out of her seat within seconds. Clarke wondered how often the girl ate and if she was eating at her other home. Clarke wondered if the people who were looking after October right now even noticed that she was gone. Clarke had a terrible feeling that the answer was no and for the first time since she had taken October in, she felt a sense of protection for the girl wash over her.

The teenager had a goofy smile on her face as she ate a second helping of Clarke’s dinner. Clarke figured she would actually eat with her and picked up her fork.

“Were you married?” October asked after a second. Clarke had picked a terrible time to shove some chicken in her mouth as she coughed three times to clear her throat.

“I beg your pardon?” Clarke asked around another cough. October’s eyes went wide and she shook her head.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” October apologized quietly. “It’s just that… did you really buy this apartment all for yourself? It’s _huge_!” 

Clarke busied herself with cutting up her chicken before she answered. She had no idea how to answer, but October was looking at her with wide, curious green eyes.

“I didn’t,” Clarke finally admitted it to someone. She felt like she was carrying this huge secret around with her. Sure, her mother knew about it, but the people she worked with didn’t and it felt like a relief to get it off her chest. “I was supposed to be living with two other people.”

“Oh,” October frowned for a moment. “So, you’re not married?”

“No,” Clarke chuckled out a laugh. “I was never married and I’m not dating anyone right now.”

October nodded slowly. Clarke could still see that she had questions and felt another wave of relief wash over her when October asked if there was anything to eat for desert. 

The girl could seriously eat and Clarke knew she was in trouble.

* * *

If dinner was awkward, bedtime was a whole other affair. The girl was old enough to put herself to sleep, but still young enough to crave that affection from someone.

Clarke had no idea what to do after October took her shower. It was getting late and Clarke knew she had school in the morning. She didn’t know if she was going to drive her to school or not. Clarke was starting to realize that she didn’t know anything about the arrangement they had and wasn’t sure how to approach October as she pulled her own nightclothes on.

The teenager was folding some of the clothes she kept in her backpack away in the dresser and Clarke was at least glad that she was somewhat settling in. 

“Maybe we could go shopping next weekend?” Clarke asked as she quietly walked into her bedroom. Clarke tried not to laugh at the way October’s face scrunched up when she mentioned shopping. 

Clarke hated the way she thought about how Raven hated going shopping, but her and Octavia would drag her out anyways. Raven would complain the whole time and sit on the benches while Octavia and Clarke modeled clothes for her. Clarke remembered how happy and carefree she had been with them, and had to shake her head to bring her back to reality. 

“I think you need it. I have a couple old shirts that don’t fit me, I can give them to you?”

There it was again, that unreadable expression on her face. Clarke wished her mother was here, because maybe she could crack what it meant. There was something soft about the way October was looking at her, and she nodded slowly.

Clarke smiled and left the room. She came back moments later with a stack of shirts of all different colors and shoved them in October’s hands.

“Here’s a couple,” Clarke gestured to the shirts that were definitely more than _a couple_. “There’s a few band shirts and some black shirts. Not saying that you wear anything other than black. Black looks good on you and here are some–“

“Clarke!” October called over the rambling adult. “I like them and they look like they will fit.” 

Clarke took a shaky breath before nodding.

“I’m trying.” Clarke said quietly, suddenly feeling nervous.

“I don’t–“ October stopped talking, pausing for a moment in what Clarke could only describe as frustration. “I’m not really good with expressing my feelings–“

(Clarke thought then, that maybe they _did_ have something in common).

“I’m also not good with someone treating me like I’m not a piece of shit,” Clarke cringed at such a bad word coming out of the mouth of such a young girl. “So, thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” Clarke said and stood there awkwardly. She could’ve sworn she saw the slightest smile coming from October, but when she looked again, her face was blank. 

October hung up her old shirts in the closet and walked back over to the bed. October was looking at it with longing and Clarke clasped her hands together.

“Well, good night.” Clarke wanted to slap herself with how awkward she was being right now, but October just smiled.

“Good night, Clarke. Thank you for everything. I’ll see you in the morning.” October said before she climbed in bed.

Was Clarke supposed to hug her goodnight or was that too much? Was that only something you do with five year olds or would it pass on a girl that had been abandoned most of her life?

Clarke rocked on her heels and October was looking at her strangely. Clarke averted her eyes and clicked her tongue to stall.

“The cable guy will be here tomorrow and the TV should be working by then.”

“Thanks.” October muttered. “I don’t really need a TV.”

“Oh, well then in that case, I could just donate–“

“No, no, no,” October said quickly and Clarke watched as the girl’s cheeks flushed in embarrassment. “That’s okay.”

“Thought so.” Clarke quipped and now, she was thinking that she was being borderline creepy because she wouldn’t leave the girl’s bedroom. 

Besides certain hookups, this was the first person Clarke had in her home, that she actually wanted here and Clarke wasn’t sure what to do.

October’s face was going through a tunnel of emotions and Clarke wasn't sure what she was feeling.

“I’ll leave you now.” Clarke tapped on her dresser and October just stayed silent. 

Clarke had no idea why she felt so weird leaving the bedroom.

* * *

Clarke was woken up in the middle of the night by a sharp cry. It was so loud that it jolted Clarke from her sleep making her bolt up in bed. Clarke thought for a moment that she was alone in her apartment, just like every other night, but when she heard a high–pitched sob floating through the vents, Clarke knew she wasn’t alone.

She bolted from her bed and hated how long it took to get to her. Clarke thought at first that maybe in the couple months she’d been here, that she was finally getting robbed. (Not that she was counting on getting robbed. She just figured it could possibly happen one day).

She thought that the one day was here and grabbed a bat out of the closet before rushing towards October’s room.

“Don’t you touch her!” Clarke came barging into the room, eyes blurry with sleep and holding the bat over her head.

She immediately dropped her bat when she realized that October wasn’t crying because there was a huge man trying to take what she had. October wasn’t even _awake_. The brunette was fast asleep, but she was sobbing as if she was awake.

Clarke looked around wondering what to do. It was two in the morning and knew her mother would be knocked out by now. Clarke would have to deal with this by herself and she figured she had some experience.

She would get nightmares after it happened. She was never sure if she would cry in her sleep, but from the tear tracks on her pillow when she woke up, she figured she did. She would have terrible nightmares and no one was there to help her through it. Clarke was a grown woman who could take care of herself, but October wasn’t. She was only sixteen and Clarke rushed to her side. 

The cries got worse and October started thrashing on the bed. Clarke tried to shake her to wake up, but to no avail. 

“October!” Clarke called trying to get the girl to wake up. It took another hard shove to her shoulders before the girl was gasping awake.

“C– C– Clarke?” October asked in confusion. “What–“ 

October looked down at herself and realized that she had fallen asleep. She looked guilty and like she had been caught in the act and Clarke stared at her with concerned eyes.

“I fell asleep?” October asked like it shocked her. That must’ve explained the huge bags under the girl’s eyes.

“You did.” Clarke responded quietly, trying to figure out what happened.

“I don’t sleep.” October stated casually and it almost broke Clarke’s heart. She couldn’t really sleep after the accident either. 

“Sweetie, are you okay?” Clarke didn’t even blink an eye at the term of endearment, too focused on October to care.

“I don’t like going to sleep. I have terrible dreams.” 

Clarke smiled in sympathy and wordlessly sat down beside the girl.

“I have terrible dreams too.” Clarke admitted and it was easier to admit stuff when the lights were out. 

“What about?” October brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. October looked so small and vulnerable that Clarke couldn’t leaving her hanging. 

“Well…” Clarke started off nervously. “I’m standing in this field and there is no one around me. It’s completely empty and it’s just me. I hear this roaring sound and when I turn around there’s a zombie trying to bite me. Like it’s trying to tell me that I shouldn’t be here. Like I need to be bitten because of all the bad things I’ve done.”

There was another dream she had. The one of the accident. She dreamt about it so much that it didn’t get to her as much as it used to. That didn’t mean it still didn’t leave her broken inside, because it did. 

“Mine is of a fire.” October spoke gently. “I’m always in the fire and I can never get out.”

“Oh, October.” Clarke sighed when another sob rumbled from her chest.

Clarke swooped the girl up in her arms and they laid back on the pillows. Clarke had a gut feeling that she shouldn’t have left October alone, but she did it anyways. Clarke scolded herself for being so stupid. 

That night, Clarke had fallen asleep in the teenager’s arms. Clarke had no idea what October was going to do to her, how much this young girl was going to change her life and make her see things differently.

That night, October didn’t sleep and she wished she had a TV to watch or something. Clarke was heavy in her arms, but she didn’t move. Clarke looked like she needed the sleep. October knew there were many things that Clarke was keeping from her and that was okay, because October was keeping things from Clarke too.

That night, Clarke realized just how lonely and broken she truly was. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. I wrote and edited this chapter by myself so I hope it's okay!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Tumblr: rebelguitargirl

* * *

When Clarke woke up the next morning, she was alone. Her eyes were puffy red and her mouth was dry. She wondered for a second where she was before the realization hit her.

She had slept here last night. She had clung to a girl she’d barely known. She was in the room that was supposed to belong to one of her best friends. 

Clarke quickly got up and made her way downstairs. October was standing in the middle of the kitchen, hair wet and looking around in confusion. 

“You have cereal, but no milk?” October asked as if she was crazy. Clarke hadn’t been to the store yet this week, and was actually planning on going today.

“I usually do my grocery shopping on Thursday’s, so I will go today while you are at school.” 

“Don’t you have work?” October questioned further. The girl walked over to the drawer and got out a spoon, proceeding to eat the cereal dry. 

“I do, and I will go to the store once I’m done.” Clarke said curtly before turning on her heel and going to her room. She knew she didn’t have much time to get ready if she was going to drop October off and rushed through her morning routine. 

Clarke didn’t know why she felt so exposed once she stepped into the kitchen again, fully dressed and hair up in a bun. October was looking at her funny and Clarke shifted where she was.

“Are you ready to go?” Clarke cleared her throat. October was still looking at her strangely, but Clarke had to make sure it didn’t affect her.

“Yeah.” October muttered before grabbing her stuff silently. 

It was weird walking outside with someone else behind her. Someone else that she was sort of responsible for. October already had her headphones in and she was wearing one of the shirts Clarke had gotten for her with a pair of ripped jeans. 

October was bobbing her head slightly to the loud music that was coursing through her headphones. She didn’t say anything the entire ride over to school. 

Her school started at 8 o’clock sharp and Clarke made it there with two minutes to spare. Clarke realized then that October didn’t have anything for lunch and scrambled to get money out of her pocket.

Clarke was sure that she forced more money that she needed into October’s hands by the way her eyes lit up and walked off to go inside the building.

“I’ll take the bus home!” October stopped in her tracks and turned around to yell at Clarke. Clarke wanted to say that she could pick her up, but she didn’t want to smother the girl. 

Clarke drove to work with such a weird feeling in her stomach.

* * *

Shopping for two wasn’t as easy as Clarke thought. As Clarke raided the aisle, she came to the conclusion that she had no idea what type of foods October even liked. Clarke was totally winging it at this point. She was eating Honey Nut Cheerios this morning, so Clarke got a box of that for her. Oh, and some milk, but other than that, Clarke had no idea what to get for the girl.

It would’ve benefited her greatly if October was actually here. She knew her school didn’t get out for another two hours, Clarke really should’ve waited. 

Clarke continued to get food any teenager wouldn’t mind eating and got a few groceries for herself before checking out. 

Once she got home, she figured she could get started on dinner and wondered where the domestication was coming from.

It was 3:10 when Clarke noticed that October wasn’t home yet. The chicken Alfredo was almost finished, but October was nowhere in sight. Panic started washing over Clarke. Maybe October forgot where she lived? Maybe October had something after school? Clarke thought now that she didn’t even ask if October was doing any extracurricular activities.

Clarke rushed over to her phone and dialed her number. The young girl didn’t answer and Clarke tried again. Maybe she didn’t want to come home just yet and was hanging out after school with some friends? Clarke used to do that all the time, but she would also call and give her mother a heads up. 

Clarke didn’t know if October was part of a club or was on a team. Clarke didn’t know anything about the teenage girl and she couldn’t stop her stomach from churning. 

The chicken Alfredo was almost done and it was nearing four o’clock. Clarke turned off the oven once she was done cooking and headed out the door. 

* * *

Clarke had knocked on almost every door on the third floor. She questioned everyone that opened the door before she got so pushy, they slammed the door in her face. It was four–thirty now and Clarke was in full on panic mode. She couldn’t count how many times she called October and her phone went straight to voicemail. Clarke didn’t bother leaving one, because she had a feeling the adolescent girl wasn’t going to listen to it. 

Clarke had knocked on almost every door, but of the one down the hall. She forgot the name of the resident that lived there, but knew it was a woman who moved in a couple months ago. 

She knocked loudly on the door and hardly bothered waiting for the door to actually open up before she started talking. 

“I’m sorry. Have you seen a teenager? Although, she acts like a child. She has brunette hair and green eyes. She’s always wearing a scowl on her face and she was wearing a Mayday Parade band t-shirt and she has–“

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.” The woman said and how melodically her voice sounded made Clarke finally look up. 

Clarke’s eyes widened when she finally laid eyes on the woman that lived here. She was  _ gorgeous _ . She was towering a bit over Clarke, and Clarke almost forgot what she was talking about. 

“Are you looking for someone?” Clarke zoned in on the way that the woman’s jaw moved and how cut it had been. The woman had high cheekbones and bright green eyes, reminding her of October’s dark green ones and Clarke wanted to know how she was just now meeting the woman who lived on the same floor as her. 

“I– I– I– yes!” Clarke squeaked out. “She’s only sixteen and she’s been staying with me. It’s only really been a day and she hasn’t come home yet.”

“Maybe you should call the police?” 

“Mommy is mama at the door?” She heard a high–pitch voice call, before a little boy with brown curls walked up behind the woman.

“Oh, no, Nathan. This is–“ The woman stopped talking when she realized that she didn’t know her name.

“Clarke.” Clarke offered her gently. Still trying to figure out how she had never seen this woman before until now.

“Nate, this is Clarke.” Clarke hated that she loved the way her name rolled so effortlessly off the woman’s tongue.

“And you?” Clarke crouched down to look at the little boy, who shied away a bit.

“My name is Nathan.” The little boy said quietly and the woman chuckled down to her son.

“And you?” Clarke asked again as she came eye to eye with the woman in question.

“Lexa.” The woman offered her hand out to shake and Clarke took it firmly. Clarke hated the way her hand tingled once Lexa put her hand down.

“I’m sorry for bothering you. I was just trying to see if you saw October.”

“October?”

“Yeah, that’s her name.” Clarke answered, but Lexa just shook her head.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been inside all afternoon with my son. I haven’t really seen anything.”

“That’s okay.” Although Clarke was sorely disappointed. “I’ve asked everyone on this floor. Mrs. Rosa was starting to look at me like there was no teenager and that I was crazy because who in their right mind just takes in a teenager without thinking about it.”

Lexa looked a bit out of place, her mouth opened and closed a couple times before settling on: “I couldn’t imagine losing my son.” 

Which actually put Clarke even more on edge. Lexa picked up on that and added:

“We could come help you look?” 

“It’s okay. She’s a teenager. I’m sure she’ll turn up soon. Anyways, it was nice to meet you Nathan and Lexa. I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

“Likewise, Clarke.” Lexa said before Clarke nodded and parted ways.

She walked down the hall back into her apartment, still thinking about the way the woman had said her name.

* * *

It was ten o’clock at night and Clarke had eaten dinner by herself. She kept looking over to the seat next to her like October would magically appear. How did she lose a whole ass human being? Her mother was going to kill her once she figured out what happened, but Clarke had a plan.

She was going to wait until the morning. Maybe October would show up then or Clarke could just go to the school and hopefully she would be there.

Clarke was running through every possible scenario right now like October being dead in a ditch or maybe she just didn’t want to come back to Clarke. 

Clarke was sitting in the dark of her apartment with a wine glass in her lap. She couldn’t bring herself to drink it. She wanted to be sober, should she have to get up and drive at any moment. She had called October all throughout dinner, but the girl still hadn’t answered. 

Clarke was just sitting there motionlessly when the door to her apartment flew open. 

There was some mumbling and what Clarke swore were the smacking of lips. Clarke put her wine glass down and stood up abruptly. 

“Shh... be quiet. I’m almost positive Clarke is sleeping and–“

  
  
“Clarke is right here.” Clarke said in the dark of the living room, turning the lamp on and making both teenagers jump. 

  
  
The sight in front of Clarke almost made her hurl. October was currently pinned against her apartment by a teenage boy, who currently had his hand on October’s boob. At seeing an adult before him, he quickly removed his hand from October’s breast. 

“Ms. Griffin, I’ve heard so much about–“

  
  
“Save it, jockstrap.” Clarke snapped her fingers at him and October stood there, her face on fire.

“I– I– I thought you would be sleeping and I was just–“

“You were just what?” Clarke folded her arms, her eyes never leaving the teenage boy in front of her. “About to have sex in my apartment?”

“Clarke!” October astonished, but Clarke just huffed out a laugh.

“After I sat here and called you countless times, thinking the worst things. You were out with him?” Clarke squinted her eyes at the teenagers in question and snapped her fingers again when neither one of them spoke.

“We were just going to do some homework.” The boy answered awkwardly and October shook her head.

“Let me guess: human anatomy?” Clarke said while rolling her eyes, making the teenage boy blush at being caught in a lie.

“Maybe you should leave?” October turned to him.

“There is no ‘maybe’,” Clarke sneered. “The answer is yes. You will leave now.” 

The teenage boy seemed like he wanted to say something, but with the way Clarke was staring him down, he thought better of it. He muttered a quick bye before scrambling out the door. 

October took her time closing the door behind her, not knowing what was going to happen once they were behind closed doors. 

“You don’t respect me,” Clarke had a million things to say to the girl in front of her. Mostly, how happy she was that she was okay. She didn’t want to be too hard on her, but this was not how she wanted this arrangement to go. “I’m not going to keep going out of my way, for you to disrespect me like this. I’ve given you everything you ask for and the least you could do is just call me so I know you’re safe.”   
  


October stood there for a moment and Clarke wanted to scream at that same unreadable face she was giving her. She didn’t know what the girl was thinking, but her heart dropped once she started talking. 

“You know what, you’re right,” October hummed out. “I should just leave and we can act like none of this ever happened. Don’t worry, I’ll tell Ms. Abby it was my fault.”

  
  
Clarke couldn’t stop how fast October ran upstairs to get her stuff like this was a normal occurrence in her life. October was almost out of the door before Clarke could stop her.

  
This wasn’t what Clarke wanted. For the first time in months, this apartment wasn’t empty with her sad, depression looming around the place. 

  
  
October hadn’t been there for long, but it was enough for Clarke to realize this girl really didn’t have any guidance in her life. She refused to have October be one of the failed kids. She wanted to help her, but she didn’t know how.   
  


“October, wait!” Clarke yelled and October turned around, tears streaming down her face.

“I’m sorry I disappointed you!” Clarke didn’t notice at first, but she could tell by the way that the girl’s words were slurring together that she had been drinking. “I disappoint everyone in my life and I just hurt them. So, maybe I should just go live with the Johnsons. They won’t even know I left and I can leave you alone. I’m sorry I caused so much stress and I’m just–“

Clarke was already halfway to her when she stopped talking. She pulled the girl in for a hug, holding her tight. October tried fighting her off, but Clarke held her as the girl sobbed into her chest. It wasn’t until October was actually in her arms that she truly understood how small she was. She was slim in her arms, and Clarke never wanted to let her go, not when she was crying like this.

“I’m not disappointed,” Clarke said after a moment. “I was just so worried about you.”

“Really?” October hiccuped in her arms, like she couldn’t believe that someone was actually concerned about her. Clarke wondered how many people had actually given a damn about the girl in her arms. Clarke knew it wasn’t many, and her heart broke all over again. 

“I don’t want you to leave. That’s the last thing I want. I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry,” October said. “I figured you wouldn’t care where I was so I went to a party with Josh and things just… I’m sorry.” 

“All is forgiven.” Clarke said and she meant it. “It’s late and you have school so let’s get to bed.” 

October bit her lip and paused before nodding. She was wringing her hands together as she tried to calm her beating heart.

Once Clarke was finally in bed, she felt like she could breathe easier now that October was back. She had no idea what it meant, but she just… she was just glad that she was here. 

And it wasn’t the least bit awkward when the teenage girl knocked on her door a couple minutes later. Clarke was already preparing for it.

She opened the door wordlessly and they didn’t say anything as October climbed into bed with her. 

It was one of the best sleeps Clarke had gotten in a long time. 

  
  


* * *

October woke before Clarke did again, (not that October actually slept). Clarke showered before heading into the kitchen where October was munching on some cereal.

“Morning.” October said, unsure of where the morning would take them.

“Morning.” Clarke grabbed one of the blueberry muffins she brought yesterday and started making herself a coffee. “I’ll be ready to take you to school in a minute and I’m most definitely picking you up. Do you understand?” 

“Yeah.” October said quietly and Clarke nodded, proud of herself.

Clarke was so wrapped up in making herself a coffee that she almost missed what October had said. October didn’t talk about her school much, actually not at all, so what she said had surprised Clarke.

“Soccer tryouts are coming up.” October said nervously. “I’ve never tried out before, but I was thinking since it’s my sophomore year that I could?”

Clarke was confused for a moment, wondering why October was mentioning it to her when it dawned on her that October was seeking her permission because Clarke was looking after her now. Clarke stumbled upon her words before clearing her throat.

“That would be– Wow… you would make… I mean– sure why not?” Clarke settled on saying and the smile that she received made her heart ache. October was  _ beautiful _ and it sucked that she knew she didn’t have anyone to remind her of that everyday. 

“Thank you!” October said in relief and Clarke just nodded, still overwhelmed that she was responsible for this girl now. “We should probably go.” 

Clarke nodded again before they rushed out the door. She halted in her steps when she saw a very sweaty and dare she say it,  _ hot _ , looking woman coming their way. 

Clarke had to contain herself, knowing that she had a teenager watching her every move, but a rush of adrenaline passed through her when she realized that the woman before her was Lexa. 

“Oh, hey.” Lexa said a bit out of breath. She was wearing leggings and a tank top underneath her light blue jacket. There was sweat dripping from her forehead and traveling down her neck. Clarke was so focused on the little drops of sweat making its way down Lexa’s long neck into the valley of her breast, when she felt someone nudge her. She turned and was met with dark green eyes looking at her in confusion.

“Hey.” Clarke coughed out and she could’ve sworn October mumbled out a:  _ smooth _ under her breath. 

“I was just going for a run while I had some free time.” 

“That’s really hot.” Clarke said and Lexa coughed out a laugh while Clarke just died a little bit inside. Even October was giggling behind her. “I meant you… wait– I meant that you must be really hot from the run you just took.” 

Lexa let out another loud laugh, pulling on Clarke’s heart strings. “Yeah, it was pretty hot but it’s starting to get chilly out.” 

October was still laughing behind them and Clarke turned around and glared at her. It immediately shut her up and Clarke grinned in delight.

“This must be the missing teenager?” Lexa asked, raising her eyebrows.

“Yes, it is. Came stumbling in late last night, tispy.” Clarke turned around again to face the teenager, a smirk coating her face. “She will be taking the trash out for the next two weeks.” 

“What?!” October screeched. “But that is so unfair! I wasn’t even gone for that long.”

“Why don’t you go get in the car? I’ll be there in a minute.” Clarke asked, completely ignoring the meltdown October was having. October just groaned and stomped down the hall. 

“She really has the dramatics downpacked.” Lexa said, her own little smirk coating her face. 

“I just have no idea what I’m doing.” Clarke sighed out helplessly. “I just thought of that off the top of my head. I have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to her.” 

“Well… I could give you my number and offer some exceptional advice.” Lexa was already digging around in her pockets and Clarke was glad she was distracted so she couldn’t see the flush of her cheeks. Clarke didn’t know who went for a run with a marker in their jacket, but she guessed Lexa did. 

“I would actually like that.” Clarke said before Lexa was grabbing her hand and turning her palm over. Clarke was so wrapped up in how soft Lexa’s sweaty hands were in hers, that the moment was over entirely too soon.

“There.” Lexa whispered in satisfaction and Clarke noted how relaxed her face looked in that moment. Her face was flushed and her hair was pulled back in a messy bun and Clarke swore the universe was cursing her by putting such a pretty woman in front of her and there was nothing Clarke could do about it. 

“I’ll give you a call one day. Y’know, when the dramatics get a bit too much for me.” Clarke said, thinking it was pretty smooth. 

“Yeah, you should do that.” Lexa said slyly and Clarke opened her mouth, but jumped when she heard a car horn in the parking lot. Clarke just groaned loudly, knowing that was coming from her overly dramatic teenager.

“I guess I have to go.” Clarke said and started walking backwards. She only gave it a few more seconds before she tripped over herself and made a fool out of herself… again. 

“I’ll see you around.” Lexa waved and started walking toward her apartment. Clarke quickly turned around once Lexa disappeared inside before making a beeline to her car.

“That was unnecessary.” Clarke huffed before getting in the car. October was sitting in the back, wearing another one of her shirts, this time it was a white one. 

“Someone has a crush.” October sang and Clarke groaned.

“Coming from the girl that was sucking face with a horny teenage boy.” That shut October up for the rest of the ride and Clarke smiled at the results.

* * *

It wasn’t until a couple days later when October came home from school with an F on a history paper she turned in on Monday, that Clarke needed that advice… and lots of wine. 

October was told not to leave the house even if it was for an emergency. Clarke told her if anything were to happen that she was just down the hall. October wasn’t necessarily grounded, but Clarke didn’t want her leaving the house if she was failing a subject. October was advised to stay home and do homework, but Clarke knew the girl was just going to watch TV once she left. That bottle of wine was sounding better and better and Clarke supposed the company wasn’t too bad either. 

Clarke had been so ready to rant to someone who understood what it was like to look after someone else, she didn’t realize how nervous she was when she was finally standing in front of Lexa’s door.

She smoothed down the shirt she was wearing, October teasing her multiple times that it was a date and Clarke just telling her to be quiet and go do her homework. 

Clarke knocked on the door softly. Lexa had told her that she had her son for their night but he was already asleep.  Clarke waited a couple of seconds before she heard Lexa unlock her door and open it.

It was like all the air in Clarke’s lungs had been sucked out when her eyes finally landed on Lexa.

The brunette was wearing a tight shirt and a pair of leggings. Her hair was down in waves and her eyes looked so clear as she greeted her. 

“Hey.” It was so casual and nonchalant, but there was a smile in her eyes that Clarke noticed immediately. 

It made her feel warm inside. 

“Hey.” Lexa moved aside and Clarke stepped inside her apartment. 

It was warm and cozy and smelt a lot like Lexa. 

“You smell really good.” That was the first thing to come flying out of Clarke’s mouth. A damn compliment, that was charming while thinking about it in her head, but sounded completely creepy out loud.

There weren't many women she met who wore cologne and could actually pull it off. Most girls she slept with smelled like the inside of a rose petal, but this petite, feminine girl smelled so strong of a fresh, clean cologne Clarke didn’t even know of. 

It ignited Clarke’s senses as Lexa smirked.

“Thanks. My ex got it for me for Christmas and I actually really like it.” 

Lexa finally closed the door to her apartment. Clarke was enclosed to all things Lexa and hoped that she wouldn’t make a complete fool out of herself tonight.

But Clarke knew better. She was about to spend a couple hours with a woman who looked like she should be on the front cover of every single magazine out there. 

(She was only kidding herself. She was definitely going to make a fool out of herself. Only time would tell).

  
  


* * *

  
  


“So, you live here with your son?” Clarke walked slowly around the apartment. It was bare walls for the most part, a couple pictures of Nathan here and there. 

There was a fish tank in the corner of the family room along with a few work out equipment. 

Did Lexa ever not work out?

“I do.” Lexa answered as she walked into her kitchen, bending down and reaching for the wine. 

She opened it and poured a glass and handed it over to Clarke. The blonde took it graciously. 

They walked quietly over to her couch and sat down.  Lexa took the first sip, watching Clarke over the rim of her glass. Clarke matched her and took a sip of the sweet, but bitter wine.

“This is really good.” Clarke commented.

“Thank you. My mom bought it for me.” 

“Is she around?” Clarke questioned and Lexa shook her head.

“She lives about an hour away.” Lexa responded and Clarke nodded. 

“What about you?” Lexa asked curiously. “Is your mom around?”

“Yes. Annoyingly so, but I love her.”

“Sounds like me with my mom.” Lexa grimaced before clearing her throat. “So, what can I help you with tonight?”

There was a whole list of things Clarke thought Lexa could help her with, although Clarke would never announce that. She had just met this girl the other day.

“October is failing history.” 

Lexa took a sip of her wine, processing the information.

“That’s unfortunate.” 

“I don’t know what to do.”

“You can’t make it seem like it bothers you.” Lexa said seriously and Clarke actually listened to her. “She’s going through a lot. I can’t imagine that history is a class she’s actually going to attend.” 

“So, you think she’s skipping classes?”

“She could be. I know I did.” Lexa answered easily, picking up the bottle of wine to pour herself a second glass. 

Clarke frowned because she didn’t think about that. October had been going to school, Clarke had watched with her own two eyes as October entered the huge building, but that didn’t mean October was actually going to class and Clarke gasped.

“She has to be skipping!” Clarke concluded. “Oh my god. I can’t deal with this.”

Clarke held out her glass and Lexa filled it back up. 

“It’s okay, Clarke. I’m sure you’ll figure it out but it won’t be easy at first. She might be opening up a bit more and maybe even getting comfortable, but I’m sure no one has ever cared about her performance in school, so she doesn’t try. You have to show her there are a million of reasons to try.” 

“She wants to try out for soccer.” Clarke informed the brunette.

“You could use that.” Lexa snapped her fingers in thought.

“Like… blackmail?”

“Works like a charm.” Lexa smirked and  _ Jesus _ , Clarke was screwed when it came to this woman. This beautiful, intelligent woman. The way they kept the conversations going, without any awkward pauses, Clarke felt carefree again. 

“I told Nathan if he didn’t brush his teeth every morning, I was going to take one car a day from his car collection.”

“That’s very mean.”

“But my baby had no cavities, so  _ yes _ , I’m a monster.”

Clarke found herself smiling. Not only was Lexa smart and beautiful, she was funny. Clarke found herself enjoying her company. She didn’t know what to expect when she came over here, but she wasn’t disappointed at all.

“I guess you make a really good point.”

“Of course I do. Why else did you agree to meet for some advice?” Lexa asked rhetorically. “Because I give exceptional advice!”

Clarke could tell by the way Lexa was talking, that the wine was getting to her, but still, Clarke didn’t deny when Lexa went to pour them a third glass. 

“I could use soccer against her, but I just don’t want her to hate me. We’ve been getting along until this.”

“You just have to show her that she has so much potential. I’ve met her and she seems wonderful. You just have to make her believe it.” 

It was a lot to ask of Clarke. Both Abby and Lexa knew that. But they both could see that Clarke needed October just as much as October needed Clarke, and Lexa was just getting to know Clarke.

There was something about the woman beside her, that gave her a strange vibe. She felt like she was hiding something. Lexa had always been guarded when it came to new people, but this was different. She couldn’t deny Clarke. She wanted to hang out with the blonde, but something was still off about this whole situation. Lexa wanted to ask, but knew it wasn’t her time yet. 

“I could try. I can’t make any promises. She’s almost as stubborn as me.” 

“I’m sure everything will work out, Clarke.” 

“So, Nathan’s other mom,” Clarke started nervously, hoping she wasn’t crossing a line. But Lexa was just sitting there, waiting patiently for whatever she was about to ask. “Are you guys still together or...?” 

“We’re getting a divorce if that’s what you’re asking.”

Clarke’s eyes widened at the information.

“Why?”

Lexa didn’t answer immediately. Her eyes shifted from Clarke to the pictures of her son on the wall. Lexa sucked in a breath before speaking again.

“We should hang out one day.” Lexa mentioned and Clarke tried not to look hurt at Lexa completely changing the topic.

“We could. We could take the kids somewhere.”

“That would be nice. I have Nathan for most of the week, since I mostly work weekends.”

“What do you do? Or you like a personal trainer or something?”

“Yes,” Lexa answered with a fond smile. “I also teach self–defense and kickboxing classes. My popular classes are usually on the weekends. I really like it and it pays my bills.”

They both chuckled at that before Lexa spoke again.

“And what do you do, Clarke?” 

“I’m an artist.” Clarke felt silly saying it out loud. She didn’t tell many people and felt like it wasn’t something she took much pride in the way Lexa did. 

“That’s exciting!” Lexa praises with a small smile. “I can’t draw to save my life.”

“I really like it.”

“Then there’s nothing to be ashamed of.” 

“It’s fun until I get stuck on a piece like right now.”

“Anything I can help with?”

Clarke thought about it for a moment before shaking her head.

“Well, if you ever change your mind, I’ve had model agencies try to get in contact with me.”

“Now, you’re just messing with me.” Although Clarke wouldn’t put it past Lexa. Modeling agencies would make huge bucks if Lexa modeled for them.

“I am,” Lexa giggled and Clarke couldn’t remembered when she had smiled this much. “But being an artist is pretty cool.”

“Thank you.”

They spent the next few moments in silence just sipping their wine. Clarke was glad she only lived a couple doors down because she had consumed way more alcohol than she thought she would. Lexa could seriously drink. 

They stopped after their fourth glass and Clarke was definitely tipsy. She didn’t want to set a bad example for October, but it felt nice to let loose for an evening.

It was starting to get late and Clarke wanted to get home to make sure October was actually still there. She was also worried that the longer she stayed there with the alcohol running through her system, the more of a fool she would make of herself. 

Clarke clearly didn’t make that much of a fool of herself because by the end of their hang out session, they already planned to do something later on during the week. Maybe with October and Nathan or just by themselves. Either way, Clarke walked out of Lexa’s apartment with a smile on her face. 


End file.
